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– They were too far along in investment and illusions to have their feet in reality enough to be working out whether this person was someone that they actually should be with.
Like the issue of common interests and sexual attraction, there is this dangerous assumption that someone who we find worthy of dating in the first place must be someone who is worthy of a relationship.
Sometimes it’s because we’re emotionally immature, but sometimes it’s because we’re human and we change our minds or something imperceptible or very obvious turns us off. You may be in it for one reason, but some are in it for a shag, or whatever.
We’re not all in it for the same reasons and as we don’t live in an ideal world, people are 1) not always honest about their reasons or 2) overestimate their interest. Some of you, are meeting someone and thinking ‘Oh please let this be it because I really fancy the arse off them’ and then putting on a blindfold, tying your arms and legs together and diving in. As everyone is not honest about their reasons, you can only discover what someone’s true intentions are by spending time around them with your eyes and ears 100% open and not letting your vagina or penis or your overactive imagination make your judgements for you. Not every person can be ‘it’ – if you’re more eager to be off the market than you are to meet a quality partner, you will project a relationship and just keep trying to slot candidates into the hole in your relationship picture, instead of meeting someone, seeing how it goes, and letting the relationship picture evolve from there. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.If someone said ‘What I’m looking for is someone to have a whirlwind romance with and yet again, fantastise about a relationship I’m never going to be around to have, and then shag you a few times and then whip the rug from under your feet and leave’, they wouldn’t have much luck with dates or they’d only be with the desperate sort. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.By lying or ‘overstating’, they get to be with a better caliber of person, until their arses get turfed out. Sometimes we think we’re more interested than we are. Speaking to the news organisation afterwards, Ms Neufelder said: 'There was almost a sense of peace knowing that it was her favorite song and she did tell me it's the song she wants played at her funeral. I’ve been emphasising something over the past few months that I feel it’s time to revisit: Dating is a discovery phase.
I have a mother, friends, family, and of course many readers who are dating.